Do Over

In the July issue of O Magazine there is a question that reads, “If you could make over one thing in your life, what would it be?”  The idea hit me that in my ministry I was always focused on the future.  Next week’s lecture quotes, next month’s theme, next year’s overall theme, the next set of classes, and I was always asking “what’s new and what’s next.”  I was so focused on the future, I forgot about being in the “now.”

I realize that what I did in my ministry is what is a natural occurrence but for a lot of it, but I was not truly in the “now” moment.  I have huge gaps in my memory where my ministry is concerned.  Now I feel as though I have missed out on a massive amount of my life.

So, now, instead of asking what is new or next, I am asking, “what’s now!” I don’t want to miss out of any more of my life or my life’s experience.

While traveling in England last month, I frequently reminded myself to pay attention in the present moment.  This was a trip of a lifetime for me and I didn’t want to miss out on any of it.

For the most part, we traveled the back roads and when we came around a bend, we saw two gypsy wagons parked near a stream.  There was wet laundry hanging over the tongue of the wagon, and kids were splashing in the stream, Mom or Dad were nowhere in sight.  A horse and cow were tethered nearby.

I got to thinking about living life in this manner and I went into overwhelm.  It would mean having to forage for food every day – no refrigerator - milking the cow and making sure to use up all of the milk in one day, always having to be near a water source, and a myriad of other necessities I take for granted.  What do they do for protein?  Go hunting everyday…but for what? 

My “do over” is to be very grateful for the life I have chosen and all of the conveniences I have to make my life easier and far more wonderful that I ever could have imagined.  I am so blessed and I am thankful for all of it.