Different Thoughts About Some Things

Time marches on whether or not we are aware of it.  Since we are in the beginning of March, I am reminded of the times in my life when I have not stayed focused in the present moment and have missed, or blanked out, or just can't remember what has happened.  I keep a journal but not a diary and I think now that has been a mistake.  So a certain extent, I should have kept a diary just to know now what happened during certain periods of my life.  

I woke up thinking about the year my former husband had his auto accident and how that incident changed our lives.  I was in such distress during that time that I couldn't think straight let alone record my feelings about what happened.  Witnesses said that he pulled out into traffic right in front of them and one car had "no where to go" but to crash into him.  The issue I had with that car, is that the woman had two children in the back seat.  My feeling has always been that she got distracted and wasn't paying attention to what was going on in front of her.  I was told later that the police who investigated the incident declared Bud dead and it was until hours later that other people realized that he was still alive and was sent to a trauma unit for care.

In my process of "lightening" up my mind, I realized that I needed to forgive everyone for whatever happened.  I had to forgive the witnesses for whatever they saw.  I had to forgive Bud for doing what he did whether he was at fault or not.  I had to forgive the whole situation and realize that that was what was needed at that time for everyone involved.  I had to forgive myself for all of the thoughts I have carried all these years about everyone.  

All those thoughts that I didn't realize that I was still carrying it around with me.  It doesn't matter who was right or wrong, I have to forgive all the people involved for what ever role they played in the situation.

Remembering that we all do what is the best that we know how, looking back, some actions were not right in my estimation, but I still have to forgive the people.  I can no longer allow this situation to color and darken my thoughts of my life now.  I am ready for more "light" to shine in my mind and release all that no longer serves me.  Join me?