Learning More Lessons

I am in a situation which is very uncomfortable and am in a position in which all I can do is accept what is.  It makes me angry because I cannot trust the person involved in this.  

Years ago, I read a book by Joe Vitale in which he gives a formula for forgiveness.  The steps are

I love you

I'm sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you.

May McCarthy uses one that is similar.  Her steps are

I bless you

I love you

I forgive you

I release you.

Several issues come up with me when I am using either one of the above processes for a forgiveness exercise.  When I am in the situation, I do not love the person.  When the transgression is against me, I am not the one to be sorry (except for me being in the situation).  And I realize that forgiving is for me to release and not for the other person.  Being grateful is the last feeling I have.

Blessing someone is equally as difficult when in the situation.  Loving them?  Forget it.  Forgiving, okay and releasing is fine, too, as long as they are released out of my life.  

In order for me to move on, I have revised the above steps into my own version of being able to best move on from the situation.  

I accept you

I forgive you

I bless you

I release you.

I accept that I got myself into this situation and I have to admit that I don't like it and have to ask myself, "What could I have been thinking?" in the beginning.  I accept that you are not the person I thought I could trust and depend upon for keeping your word.  I didn't know that you didn't know how to do that.

I forgive you for being the way you are and and I forgive me for even getting into this kind of situation.  I accept that I have to accept the situation for what it is and that nothing is ever going to change it.  As one of my students use to say, "It is time to suck it up and move on."  

I bless you into your higher good whatever and wherever that is for you. 

I release you out of my realm of existence.  I am more than ready to sever whatever strings are attached to us and I no longer want to have anything to do with you.  We are done!  It is over.  I am complete.

There is not a "formula" for anything in life that fits all of us.  Sometimes we need to take a better look at what we have accepted and realize that we need to come up with our own way of doing things.  All of us are individuals and we sometimes don't fit into the "cookie cutter" way of doing things.  

This whole exercise taught me that I have to think for myself.  I have to think about what I am getting into, how this is going to effect me, what are the long term aspects, and what if?  It has also taught me that I need to say "no" and not feel bad about it.  And to have compassion for myself for not knowing any better.  

The lessons in life are sometimes tougher than anything else.  I ask for help to remember what I now know and to act and be better in the future.  

Please learn from me so that you don't have to experience this in real life.