Spiritual Leadership

I go in and out of thinking I know why I became a spiritual leader.  There is so much I still need to learn and this after being a pulpit minister for 28 years!

This last week I was with a group of women and all of us have something in common.  But there is one woman who challenges everything I have within me.  Not only that, but no matter where I turn, there she is.  I sat across from her at lunch and there is nothing about her that I can find that I can like…even from a distance.  Her sense of humor is negative, her laughter is grinding, her eyes spit fire of nastiness, and she has the most angelic face.  I don’t get it.  What is it about her that puts me in her path so much?  I know.  I know.  What I resist, persists.

While at lunch, I really looked at what it is about her that I need to clean up in my life.  I even thought about the fact that she really isn’t what I think she is…she just is.  So, why do all the feelings that I have come up when I see her? 

Then, the aha! moment struck.  She reminds me of how my mother acted during the times she was in a crowd and needed to be the center of attraction.  She needed everyone to be focused on her even if it was negative.  Glory be!  How could I have missed it for so long?

As I write this, my gratitude level rises in knowing that I have recognized this character trait and that it is not one of mine.  I remember sitting at the lunch thinking how wonderful it was that I didn’t have to talk if I didn’t want to and that it was just okay to enjoy the food I had in front of me. 

More learning lessons.  Some easier than others.