Life Challenges

After getting the news about having to have some work done on my teeth, I realized that during my life, I had heard about "saving for retirement," and other sundry things about what would happen after retirement.  Well, no where did I hear (to choose to hear) about what happens to one's health after retirement.  

Sure, I laughed at all of the jokes about losing your hair and losing your teeth, but that meant "other people," didn't it?  I never thought it would happen to me especially because I take good care of my teeth.  I see the hygienist once every three months for cleaning and I brush, floss, water pik, and use all of the implements given to me to assist in keeping my teeth clean between cleanings.  

No where did it say to me to save money for health challenges.  I consider having to have work done in my mouth as a major health challenge.  Part of what is bothering me about all of this is the fact that I am having to give up my teeth in the process.  

I have journaled about this, prayed about this and I have yet to come to a place of peace about what is going on.  That means that there is an element of this whole process that I am missing.  What is it?  Maybe it is because I don't have the resources to recoup the funds that I have to spend on this process.  

There is a point of peace in all of this and I know that it is within me...somewhere.  Now is the time for me to focus on what's important and how does this fit into my ideal life.  I encourage you to think more broadly about your life in order to more easily come to your major decisions.

More changes

“Everyone who is destined to have a spiritual transformation comes to the journey with a wound as big as God.  There are very few people who become advanced mystics because they simple feel happy on a Sunday afternoon.”  Andrew Harvey.

I am fascinated with Spiritual growth and how it shows up in its various forms.  Right now I am on the growth path of learning - learning how the cosmic 2 X 4 showed up and surprised with a crown that lifted off one of my teeth.  In the process of figuring out what to do, the one next to it did the same thing.  

In the process of finding a dentist, the first one said he didn’t do crowns.  The second one does but doesn’t do extractions.  The third does extractions and wants to put in implants in place of the ones that have to come out.  

In the consultation session, I was quoted $2,796.25 for four implants.  I am mentally calculating and thinking that $11,185.00 is a lot of money for false teeth.  The dentist looks to be a bit beyond his thirties and I am thinking, “surely, he has his student loans paid off by now!”  There seemed to be a lot of people in uniform floating around his office, so his overhead must be high.

My “wound” right now is my teeth failing me.  I am not even sure I know how to stop the process.  The second dentist looked at my bottom teeth and said that he could fix those up to look a lot better.  Meaning, more implants and with all said and done, my good looking mouth would cost about $54,000.00.  

I have just gotten to the point in my life where I have some money in the bank, enough in savings for some interesting travel and to fund some wonderful experiences.  I am thinking that while I still can move easily and with great flexibility, I want to travel and have some wonderful experiences.  When I am in that place of infirmity, can’t move and am stiff and when food is the only wonderful thing in my life, then I will have implants up in.  Until then…I want easy surprises, no more cosmic 2 X 4’s or train wrecks  or anything else that will disrupt my comfortable life.  I am closing the wounds and allowing myself the spiritual growth in the mystery of life.  Join me?

Changes, Ouch!

In all of my training, I have been told that change is a way of life.  However, when it comes to change in my life, it almost gives me the hibby jeebies. I am the first to admit, that when it comes to making change, I dig in my heels.  I don’t want it.  I don’t like it. And it usually brings surprises and I really don’t like surprises.  

It is hard for me to relate changes and surprises to something good.  It has never come natural for me.  I have to work at remembering that change always means something better and that surprises are delightfully wonderful.  

Going back into my lifetime, the stories that I have recorded have some element of surprise in them and I have had to rewrite the story in order to get what the “good” was in it.  Even in retrospect, it is sometimes hard to find the elements that have led me to my here and now even though I know that to be the truth of the matter.  What else but my experiences have brought me to my here and now?

Realizing that my story is unfinished, some of my memories are vague and sketchy.  One writer once told me that in writing out my story, I will get the first step in recognizing the holy mystery behind the life I have been given.  There are so many stories.  Do I really want to know the holy mystery of my life?  

Is finding out all of that paramount to what success or accomplishment or what I need to do necessary?  Sometimes when I read or hear stuff like that, I wonder what it is the people do - must not be very busy.  

What I do know is that I have to look for and sometimes pretend that I know the ending of the story of what is going on in my life.  That means that I have to discover and sometimes make up the good in the changes that are going on and how to see my life differently.  When I am in the midst of the “stuff” it is sometimes hard to see the “good” in any of it.

Just now, I felt a cold nose on my leg as I am sitting in front of my computer.  The cold nose is attached to Jackson, our youngest puppy, reminding me to “lighten up.”  Maybe it is time to think about the more important things in life like playing with Jackson.  

It all reminds me to accept, adjust, relax and let the story play out.  I don’t have to control all of it.  I can “just let it be.”  I have to learn how to change the rules as to what something things are.

Accept, adjust, relax and let the stories play out in your life.